It’s Been Two Years

It’s been two years since you’ve left us,

Since you put that gun to your head and pulled the trigger.

It’s been two years since I’ve seen your smiling face,

Or your adorable laugh.

My heart still hurts when I think of you,

And of everything that happened.

We were four months away from prom,

From graduating.

It was the beginning of the rest of our lives,

But the end of yours.

Did you know what you would be leaving behind

When you had that gun in your hand?

Did faces of your friends float through your mind,

Or maybe the face of your sister?

Did you know how many hearts you were breaking,

Or how many lives you changed?

There was no more foot high Mohawk to see walking down the hall

There was no more late night chats about boys who weren’t worth it.

I try to think about the good times we had, the parties, the fun,

Like the time we went to the park and played on the swings with our friends.

I think about Halloween, when we almost got into a fight

With a bunch of seventh graders.

I remember the advice you gave me

About he who must not be named.

I try not to think about the gun that blew off your face

Or the blood that surrounded you.

I try not to think of the tears that never seemed to stop,

Or the fact that your girlfriend had to take antidepressants

Just to deal with your death

It’s funny, the thing that saved her

Was the same thing that killed you.

Nothing’s the same without you

No one talks, no one hangs out.

You were the glue that kept us together

And without you, we all went our separate ways

It’s been two years since you’ve left us,

Since you put that gun to your head and pulled the trigger

And nothing will ever be the same.